If you’re like me, creating or receiving the perfect playlist is a love language. Considering how much music is inspired by relationships, I’ve often found myself thinking, “Where are all the good songs about polyamory?”
Living in a mononormative society means that the general vibe of most songs that relate to love are about owning or restricting your partner. Even the progressively non-monogamous 1920s tune Tonight You Belong to Me (made famous in the 1950s by Patience & Prudence) smacks of a pretty unpleasant possessiveness.
There are many (supposedly) polyamorous playlists out there, some featuring 100+ songs. Yet most of the tracks are vaguely non-monogamous at best and downright offensive at worst (they even have Mambo No. 5, I kid you not). They’ll often include some cheesy songs about threesomes – especially by Britney and Rick James – and hilariously, many even list Dancing in the Moonlight for some strange reason. If you know why, please comment below and tell me.
This playlist is different. It features 24 hand-selected songs that encompass many aspects of polyamorous relationships. Like a true music nerd, I’ve also organised the playlist by BPM, so it should flow nicely in your ears. You can find it on Spotify below, or I’ve also added it to YouTube if you prefer that platform. I hope you enjoy these tunes and find something that resonates with your life.
📌 Check out my playlist of love songs that aren’t about ‘the one’ for songs you can send to your partner without worrying that the lyrics will get all like “you’re the only person for me.”
Songs about polyamory 2024
Can’t Help But Fly (feat. Luqman Frank & Be Steadwell) by Climbing Poetree (2017)
What a lush, loving track to open this polyamory playlist. Everything about the Brooklyn-based queer soul sisters, Climbing PoeTree, is entirely on message with how I approach polyamory. This song talks about celebrating the joy of love and the object of your affection without placing restrictions on them. You’ll want to listen to this one on repeat, I guarantee.
Only Have Eyes 42 by Janelle Monáe (2023)
I played this track non-stop last summer when Monáe released this deliciously sensual album. The non-binary artist used this song to announce that they are polyamorous, creating a cute spin on crooning The Flamingos’ 1950s tune, I Only Have Eyes For You. This song about multiple lovers has more of a 70s reggae vibe with lush, layered strings adorning it.
Freedom! ’90 by George Michael (1990)
Ok, so this iconic queer musician wrote this track about his music label and his struggle to grow within the limitations of the industry. But is there any song that embodies the joy of breaking free from societal norms and embracing your personal liberation more than this anthemic tune? Shout out to anyone else who has ever pointed to a partner when it has come on and sung the lyrics, “I don’t belong to you/And you don’t/Belong to me yeah, yeah!”
Everybody Loves a Lover by Doris Day (1945)
Big thanks to Gar, who suggested this cute bop in the comments. It’s hilarious how easily this tune lends itself to a polyamorous reading – it even suggestively has the line, “Ya might call me a Pollyanna.” Doris Day is singing about feeling elated and in love with the world after falling in love, but take from this song whatever interpretation you like.
36 by kwes. (2013)
I still remember the first time I heard British musician kwes. (who produced Loyle Carner’s latest album) crooning, Ooooohh, I love you both.” It left me swooning a little with its open-hearted romance. It turns out I did a polyamorous reading of this track, as it’s actually a song about his love for his grandparents, which is extra cute either way.
L’Amour À Trois by Stereo Total (2009)
How good is your French? Unfortunately, the English version of this song, Love With The 3 Of Us, isn’t available on Spotify. Yet once you understand how adorable the lyrics are, you’ll be happy to play it en français all day. The French-German duo Stereo Total originally recorded this track in 2001 as Liebe Zu Dritt (German version), which fits as the song has that early noughties vibe. (Ps. You can also hear it in Spanish too – Amo Amor A Tres)
Just Be Good To Me by The S.O.S Band (1983)
This song is a part of my musical makeup because of the iconic cover of this track by Beats International in 1990. I’ve included the original here because it is incredible how a song could exemplify attitudes towards non-monogamy in the early 80s. Perhaps this is my original song about polyamory, showing me that it was possible to be open to other ways of loving. However, it gets a bit depressing towards the end when the singer pleads that they won’t bother their partner or tie them down. It doesn’t sound that sustainable. Oh well.
Freelove by Depeche Mode (2001)
Another early-noughties track, this one from the tenth album by British dark synth deities Depeche Mode. I’m pretty sure I first heard this when a lover sent it to me. It’s essentially about one partner assuring the other that they don’t need to fear a relationship as they have no intention of restricting them. Naaaaw.
You and Your Friend by Snake River Conspiracy (2000)
This sweet track from the American industrial rock band Snake River Conspiracy is about acknowledging an unspoken triad. “I can’t see / You and me and her without each other.” The song was originally recorded by another band from San Francisco, T-Ride, but this song works better from a female perspective.
Relationship Anarchy by Mx Wander (2019)
Mx Wander is an awesome trans-masc, non-binary folk punk musician based in Philadelphia. Clocking in at just under two minutes, this track has great energy, but I still need to find the lyrics to this song online. However, it’s clear that Mx is questioning if their new love connection will help them finally embody relationship anarchy.
Everybody’s Girl by Jinkx Monsoon (2014)
Sometimes polyamory can get a bit serious, so here’s some camp silliness from RuPaul’s Drag Race winner, Jinkx Monsoon. This energetic track covers the Broadway classic Everybody’s Girl, which is about delighting in your sexual freedom. After all, as the song says, “smart girls always share their riches.”
Beautiful Secret by Adam Michaelson (2023)
There is an energy change with this next tune from LA-based singer/songwriter Adam Michaelson. Ignore the cringe cover art; this is quite a tender track about a triad or quad dynamic. There’s a sweetness to this song that will have you humming throughout your day once it gets stuck in your brain.
In the Middle by Dodie (2017)
I’m still unsure if this song is about a) the singer’s current partner meeting their ex, b) the singer introducing her partners as metamours, or c) the singer arranging a potential threesome with a current and former partner. Who knows, but English singer-songwriter Dodie seems happy to be in the middle of all this.
Compersion, Pt. 1 by Arab Strap (2020)
As the title indicates, this track has a few knowing polyamorous references, such as fluid bonding and unicorns. Such lyrical admissions are a wonderful surprise from the Scottish indie rock duo Arab Stra,p considering both members are pushing 50. It shows that non-monogamy isn’t just for those born after 1990.
Polyamorous by Chris Fleming (2017)
I came across this comedy track after Dedeker mentioned it on the Multiamory podcast. It’s an amusing play on some stereotypes about couples opening up. The funniest part is when it takes this dig at the end, noting that “Board game couples give off/An even more menacing vibe than poly couples.” I’m also including this because the cover photo is outstandingly stylish.
Multi-Love by Unknown Mortal Orchestra (2015)
There’s no need to read a polyamorous storyline into this track from Unknown Mortal Orchestra’s third album. Ruban Nielson, the muscle behind this New Zealand psych-funk band, has openly discussed his marriage opening up to include another person. As explained in a Pitchfork interview, “Think about the two most serious relationships in your life so far, and then experiencing them simultaneously.” Ooft.
Polly by Moses Sumney (2020)
If you’re not familiar with this Ghanaian-American artist’s music, you may recognise Sumney from the controversial TV series The Idol. On this emotional track, he expresses the pain and frustration he feels from dating someone who is polyamorous and treats him like an option.
In or Out by Ani DiFranco (1992)
Feminist folk-rock legend Ani DiFranco has never seemed wholly sold on monogamy, as her 2012 song Promiscuity shows. I adore how this track showcases Ani’s feeling about not fitting into any box regarding sexuality and relationships, yet as she says, “I owe my life to the people that I love.”
Lovin is Easy by Carsie Blanton (2016)
Firstly, Carsie Blanton is so adorable you need to Google her. Once you’ve done that, listen to this equally delightful song about being someone who adores connecting with others. She’s confessing her affection for someone but telling them not to worry too much as she is also in love with pretty much everyone she meets.
Polyamory Blues by Rachel Lark (2023)
This catchy country-inspired tune is all about calendar management and prioritising a new partner over an existing one because they seem easier (only to quickly realise that they’re not). You can listen to Rachel’s insights about being raised by two sex-positive philosophers on episode 307 of the Normalizing Non-Monogamy podcast.
Polyamory by We Are Temporary (2018)
A sweet track from the Brooklyn-based electronic project We Are Temporary. Creator Mark Roberts talks about loving his partner but realising that he can’t be everything to them. It’s a conversational song about opening up a relationship and writing the rules for yourself.
The Other Lover by Little Dragon & Moses Sumney (2020)
As we saw above, Moses Sumney is no stranger to the perils of polyamory. Here, he collaborated with the Swedish electronic outfit Little Dragon for a delicious duet about a confusing moment in a committed relationship. Considering the title, it’s easy to read this song as capturing the uncertainty of a couple opening up their relationship.
Triad by Jefferson Airplane (1968)
The pioneering psychedelic rock band of White Rabbit fame blazed a trail for polyamorous songs with this track from the late 60s. The iconic Grace Slick from Jefferson Airplane sings about the woes of being entwined with two people and how everyone has to overcome the opinions of others to find happiness. Suitably dark and a little trippy.
Perils of Poly by Gaia Consort (2007)
The perfect track to end this playlist. Seattle-based folk rock group Gaia Consort write many songs about polyamory, but this one is quite funny as it explores some of the perils, as they put it. I especially like the verse where they repeatedly say “hot bi babe”, like they are flicking through profiles on a very questionable dating app.
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