When I first visited Mexico City last year, I responded to an invitation to a drinks event for ‘open-minded people’ on a dating app and found myself at a soiree filled with couples who mostly did some form of work with sex-positive communities both here and internationally. I quickly realised that when you lift the lid on this vibrant capital, you’ll discover why it’s cheekily nicknamed ‘Sexico City.’
As for polyamory or poliamor in CDMX, things are slightly different here than I’ve experienced elsewhere. The domination of both Christianity and machismo culture casts a dark shadow across non-monogamous life in Mexico. I frequently encountered people complaining about how dominated the scene could be by straight couples looking for a unicorn in some of the smaller cities.
In Mexico City, things are a little bit better. More queer and feminist-led groups and events are championing polyamory, autonomy and sexual freedom. So, while the community may still be blossoming compared to similarly sized cities, many new and exciting developments are constantly springing up. And that’s one of the reasons why I’m hopefully heading back there to soak up more of what poliamor in CDMX has to offer this winter.
Mexico is a Spanish-speaking country, and you should expect all of the workshops, courses, etc., will be in this language. You’ll notice some events list their details in Spanish and English, which suggests other English speakers may be attending. Still, even though this blog is in English, you should expect that pretty much everything in this city will be in the local language.
I was lucky to have plenty of input from my lovely friends in CDMX. So, a huge thanks to Johan, Omar and Sergio for contributing their insights to this blog and being wonderful non-monogamous beings that bring joy to my life.
Have I missed a polyamory event or service folks in Mexico City should know about? Comment below and share the love.
Non-monogamy workshops, coaching, and therapy in CDMX
When you’re new to polyamory, it can sometimes feel a bit overwhelming at first. There are many new terms and ways of approaching connections to learn (and so much mononormativity to unlearn). There are plenty of books and podcasts where you can seek to discover more about the world of ENM, but there is also a lot of value in speaking to other folks IRL – be that a therapist or attending a workshop to help get your journey.
But first, if you’re looking for local podcasts in Spanish where you can learn more about non-monogamy, then you should check out Punk Relacional and the hilariously named Coger Rico & Amar Bonito.
Jaime Gama is one of the most well-known names concerning polyamory in Mexico, running the popular Gotitas de Poliamor Instagram account. He is also a queer Gestalt psychotherapist who offers counselling sessions both in-person and online. Jaime also provides a range of online workshops on topics such as how to open up your relationship.
Astronauta Emocional is another excellent option for polyamory-friendly therapists in CDMX. Diversity in all its formats is one of their fundamental values, so not only is this group of therapists very queer-friendly, but they also have a guide to poliamor on their website.
Want to join a workshop? The delightfully named psychologist and sex educator Alicia Delicia runs various workshops around relationship styles and getting to know your sexual self. These mainly occur online, but she occasionally runs in-person seminars in CDMX and Guadalajara (Mexico’s second-largest city). Keep an eye out for her Taller de Poliamor.
Finally, if you’re starting out on your non-monogamy journey, learning to recognise and question mononormativity is a key to understanding how we’ve been programmed to think that relationships can only look one way. Labrotorio Afectivo, founded by CDMX-based psychologist Maynné Cortés, runs an online course about deconstructing romantic love, which sounds like a great introduction.
Labrotorio Afectivo has also begun hosting ‘slow dating’ events in CDMX, which aren’t specifically about poliamor. However, I asked Maynné Cortés, and she said that these events are open to everyone because it is not an event focused on dating but on connection. She also mentioned that throughout the events, they discuss “the importance of knowing more about diverse relational models and how that can nourish our reflection to move away from even centrism, which is one of the great obstacles to connection in adult life.” So, sounds like it is definitely worth checking the next one out.
The Poliamor en México Facebook group (more on them below) runs events every few months. It looks like these are mainly reading circles and picnics, both have also included group trips to non-monogamous theatre shows and drinks nights at a ‘pulqueeria.’
A new community that has sprung up in CDMX is Love Libre. Run by a group of sex-positive folks, it’s an online collective (in English and Spanish) that not only plans to run its own events but also help you foster connections and discover other events of interest in the city. Join the WhatsApp Group to find out more.
Polyamorous Facebook groups for CDMX
A couple of main Facebook pages in Mexico run poliamor groups for sharing resources, hosting events and helping grow the community both in CDMX and across the country.
The page mentioned above, Poliamor en México, has a group called Poliamor Valle de México (which seems to cover CDMX but could mean a more extensive area too). It’s a very active group with many people posting intros, sharing memes and tips. Plus, they run events in CDMX, as detailed above.
There’s a separate Facebook page Poliamor MX, which runs the Poliamor MX, Diversidades Relacionales group. It’s important to note that the admins and moderators for this one all appear to be women, and this group positions itself from a feminist perspective. While I haven’t personally encountered any machismo in the other group, it’s vital in Mexico that the poliamor is pro-feminist because of the intensely sexist culture. Meanwhile, my favourite part of this group is the weekly #miercolesdeselfie, where members can share a selfie and a little life update each Wednesday.
Another feminist polyamory group is run by the Polifem page. The Comuna Diversoafectiva gained some attention a few years ago when it split from Poliamor en México because they felt that, at the time, there were too many straight couples seeking unicorns (although it looks like less of that happens now). Unfortunately, this page and group aren’t that active anymore, but they did post in April suggesting a return may be on the cards, so watch this space.
Polyamorous dating Mexico
When it comes to non-monogamous/kinky/queer life in Mexico, the dating apps are basically the same as you will find elsewhere. That means your best option is Feeld, which as one polyamorous friend in CDMX said, “Feeld is the only one I’ve seen where you can actually meet non-monogamous people.” This blog is sponsored by them because they’re always my go-to dating app for connecting with like-minded locals, no matter where I travel.
In Mexico, there aren’t any popular local dating apps for non-monogamy, so people tend to use the most well-known international ones. In fact, the only Mexcian app I found during my time there in 2021/2022 was one called AdoptaUnChico. However, only locals can download it, and I’m yet to hear of anyone I know who has tried it. Plus, the concept sounds a lot like Bumble, so nothing new.
Speaking of Bumble, people use it here because of the culture of machismo that can make apps like Tinder feel too “aggressive”, as another friend described it. However, Bumble is still intensely mononormative and not very popular with anyone outside the gender binary (not surprising, considering its concept is women making the first move with men).
Hinge is a tricky one in Mexico. For some, it doesn’t appear locally in the app store, so it tends to be used mainly by people who are originally from outside the country. So, fine if you only want to date expats, but then you’ll potentially miss connecting with so many beautiful people from CDMX.
For specifically queer apps, there is Grindr for hookups and Her for lesbian/wlw/afab folks. Lex was, unfortunately, pretty quiet in CDMX, but I’m curious (but not hopeful) to see if this queer noticeboard will be more active when I return to Mexico City this winter.
Sex-positive events and services in CDMX
The nickname ‘Sexico City’ feels pretty appropriate for the lovely sex-positive vibes that abound in the capital city. From queer parties to shibari workshops, there’s a lot of fun and learning you can get involved in. And as with anywhere you go, the more you socialise, the more interesting things you will hear about.
So, while none of the events listed below is specifically about non-monogamy or poliamor, you’re likely to meet similarly-minded folks in CDMX by joining these parties, workshops and festivals. Get out there, make connections, and you’ll be surprised by the underground communities you’ll find.
However, it’s also important to remember that not all polyamorous folks are allosexual (i.e. people who experience sexual attraction). Asexual folks and others on the ace spectrum are also a valued part of our community. Polyamory’s not all about sex, baby.
Sex-positive workshops and festivals in CDMX
I discovered the kink educator and Shibari facilitator Blue after she wrote about her life for A Week on Feeld. She runs a range of workshops from wax play to using gags, plus you can also book your own customisable private session (which includes snacks as aftercare. So sweet).
The intimacy coach Andre Lazarus runs events in Mexico City from time to time. Check out their Week of Intimacy Exploration for details about their next series in CDMX, including workshops around sensual touch and play.
Tantric therapist Belinda Loyola runs El Templo Del Despertar in Condessa, which hosts a vast range of courses, workshops and events focussed around accessing your sensuality and pleasure.
Finally, the online sex shop La Eroteca runs educational workshops from time to time under the banner of Casa Eroteca (often in partnership with Joy Club Mexico). Events have included a naked ‘drink and draw’ evening, a polyamory workshop and many other sensually-themed events. And as you can see from this image, everything about the marketing for Casa Eroteca is beautifully designed.
Sex-positive creative events in CDMX
Speaking of nude life drawing, if you feel like getting creative, there are a couple of classes you can check out. Artist Isabella Russo runs her own drink and draw workshops, Nunu Tallers, in several different cities, including CDMX, occasionally. Like a sense of movement in your drawings? The Danza y Trazos sessions in Centro Histórico invite dancers, performers and acrobats to model for their workshops. Expect the occasional handstand or contortionist.
Sexy gatherings, parties & performance nights in CDMX
Mexico City doesn’t appear to have much of a public play party scene like other major cities do (check out my guides for London, Barcelona, Sydney and Melbourne, for example). There’s definitely a private play party scene, and of course, there are always swingers clubs, but they typically very cis straight spaces.
Thankfully, CDMX has some incredibly diverse queer parties where pleasures of all kinds can be found. Iconic gatherings like Por Detroit and Pervert (pictured here in an incredible shot by Christopher Isaiah Green) apparently have dark rooms, while Traición have been known to sell custom harnesses and other kink essentials at their parties.
[sic], which describes itself as a “nocturnal playground for the Queer,” hosts weekly parties where lines between performances and workshops can get blurred, such as a shibari and wax session from Blue, the kink educator mentioned above. Brutal Mx also brings sexy queer vibes to the dancefloor, and when it’s all over, you can head to Sungay Brunch for recovery.
CDMX kink parties
If you prefer parties with a strong kink focus, Mexico’s biggest BDSM party is Fiesta 24/7. Hosted by the team behind Calabozo México, these parties have been running for over a decade and take place in a fully equipped dungeon.
For those who love their techno as much as their kink, check out the Fixxion parties hosted by the Ex Fabrica de Harina crew. There’s a strict fetish and bondage dress code, performances and a dark room.
For other options, follow venues like Dada X, which hosts the Fetish Xtreme parties, and El Real Under, which host the delightfully named Sexorcism events.
Have I missed a polyamory event or service folks in Mexico City should know about? Comment below and share the love.
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